Tuesday, August 14, 2012

wish

I have one wish since i was a kid. A complete family.yes that is my wish. While others are hoping the best toy to have, the best holiday to look forward to i just want a basic thing in my life.that is family. I was brought up in a broken family.

Until now im 24 years old i still affected by the divorce of my parents.

Everything seems to go well when ayah remarried again.that is one of the best memory i had cherish until now. To me having the motherly figure and fatherly figure around me at the same time when the whole family went out for dinner n shopping it makes me feel confident.i dont know whether u can understand of my feelings that is how i feel when i was in standard 6.

Having makcik around does fulfill a little bit of space left by mama. But not entirely. Makcik is a little bit more sporting interms of our involvement with activities and friends while mama is overprotective. We share a lot of favorites things together. I was happy, untill a few years back makcik gave birth to a little tahfiz in the making. Allah test my family again. One after one reason being brought up to continue the madness quarrel.i was in uni at that time. Again i was affected. :'(

I volunteer to be the middle person to get my family back together.i thought i was strong enough to handle this.but i failed. And i was blaming my self not trying for the best for my little brother.i dont want him to feel exactly like i do when mama n ayah seperated.

if u think children from a divorce spouse will get over the hurtfull feelings being in broken family you are wrong.until u are the child then you can figure out exactly how i feel.

Today is makcik's birthday, the most sad day for me.because she did not keep her promise to stay n look after my father.:'(

I love u makcik but you are hurting me, ayah n your own son. I was devastated when i know ayah n mkcik had already divorce and mkcik already remarried . I have no idea at all as ayah have been going through this tough time alone.

i love u Ayah.if nobody going to take care of you i will. Im going to make sure you n my little brother doesnt feel lonely when nobody around.

you are the best father in the world. Im proud of you. I love you BZ.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6